Attempting to lean back...

When I began going to Xavier, my leftist leaning were seen as crazy and slightly hippie-like. (This isn't to say people were jerks. For the most part it's been nothing but love between us.) Bush's recent blunders and flubs have been making people second guess their allegiance to the party of the parents, it seems. I've been noticing quite a bit less flag-waving. People are less quick to say they love him or associate themselves with other conservatives.

However, the Xavier Republicans club has long been a thorn in my side. Ever since their infamous "9 out of 10 terrorists vote for Kerry" t-shirts during the 2004 elections, they have been on my, pardon my language, shit list. Unwilling to sit down and talk issues out, they are the kneejerk reacting thorn in my side. It seems that they are beginning to get worried about the lowered blind allegiance to the Republican party and are ready to take half-scary, half-hilarious, all-maddening steps to try and win people back to the Emporor's side.

This brings me to their most recent foray into conservative love-fests. I found a flier above the urinal I was using which proclaimed that March 27-March 31 was going to be Conservative Week. Before I go on, I will list for you the various events which will be happening throughout the week. Without any glimmer of humor on the flier I present to you "Xavier College Republicans First Annual Conservative Week" (my notes, obviously, are in the red):

Monday: Second Amendment Day - Learn about your second amendment rights, and (this part really isn't a joke) free water guns.

Tuesday: Bias in the media day- Come watch Fox News (to learn what bias is?) and learn about the widespread liberal media bias. (Sure, we have so much power in this country)

Wednesday: Support the Troops Day- Wear your camoflage, write a note to the troops (to apologize, right?), and support the troops wristbands (WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!)

Thusday: (This one is my personal favorite) Fiscal Responsibility Day- Enter to sin a $50 savings bond and read about the merits of fiscal responsibility. (Why is this just a conservative ideal, shouldn't this be for everyone? I bet their fiscally respnsible plans don't have much room for the less fortunate. I hate that liberals are so irresponsible with their money, what with buying all of those SUV's and big houses.....hey, wait a second!!!!!)

Friday: Conservative Day- Wear Red to show your support of conservative and (again, not a joke) mock gubernatorial primary. (I don't even understand that part. If you get it, please explain. In my bleeding heart, liberal head, that just seems like conservatives being mean. I hope they are better than what I'm thinking.)

So, that's it. I'll let you figure out what to do with that information. I chose to laugh about it knowing, and sort of praying, that this whole this will be viewed as silly by the whole school and belly flop for the rest of the week.

Love,
John